Mandy tried to compose herself but couldn’t help giggling at her husband’s ridiculous birthday gift. She shook her head in disbelief. She was going to enjoy this.
“Air Fryer, I said. F, not D. F as in Foxtrot Oscar! You never listen! Where do we have room for an Air Dryer?”
Malcolm closed his sorry eyes and looked to the floor. He thought it an odd gift choice! As it was so cheap he’d bought the biggest one.
It can’t stay here,” she said, revelling in the exquisite joy of her husband’s fuck-uppery. “We’ve downsized Malcolm, we live in a flat. We have a Tumble Dryer! The one Golf Monthly recommended for your Rupert The Bear trousers!”
She kissed her husband on his bald defeated head and chuckled.
“And look at the size of it? You’d need to catch a bus from one end to the other. You’ll have to take it back.”
She saw the look in Malcolm’s eyes. The one that said ‘I’ve lost the receipt.’ He nodded confirmation like a naughty child. Mandy hooted triumphantly.
When Malcolm returned from Golf, the Air Dryer had gone. When his study door was partially blocked he realised where it was. It filled the whole study. It was hung full of washing. Even the ‘luxury sock attachment.’
He reached over to his desk drawer for the real birthday gift. The Mediterranean Cruise Tickets. He imagined Mandy’s face as she pieced the jigsaw together. This was a victory alright and no mistake.
© Kevin Owen